I leave for a short holiday in Europe tomorrow morning and I wanted to pen some thoughts down before that.
Student hall during the winter break is a funny place. It's usually bustling with energy and laughter but it's emptied out to about 1/10 of the normal population right now. Walking up and down the halls for meals or to go out to run errands feels a little eerie - something's just missing. It doesn't help that everyone staying over winter break sort of misses home and they won't be spending Christmas at home which is a shame. Well I won't be spending Christmas at home either but y'know.
I like the solitude though. I've always liked solitude. Being by myself is when I can think best and when I am the most productive. In the 3+ months of being here I've somehow managed to surround myself with and cling onto people for some sort of comfort in hedonistic nights out. Very damaging to my productivity.
2018 has not been the best year unfortunately. Lost way more money than I thought I would and was not as productive as I should have been. I've also sort of been slipping into a place I don't want to go back to. A funny thing happened a week ago that reminded me of what I should be doing. I had a meeting with university security for assistance for an upcoming event and it went exceptionally well. The security team I'm working with were ready with a brief, understood what was done last year and what had to be improved/done this year. I left the meeting feeling energised by their preparedness and work ethic and it's been still with me as I write this today.
It's also funny how I feel like I'm more productive during the holidays than I am during the term. I'm excited for the start of my holiday tomorrow - I'm meeting an old friend and a good friend and I'm sure it'll be fun. But - there always is a but - I think that I might just prefer being locked in a dark room with my earphones in working on whatever it is that I have to work on next. When I'm not working my mind starts fucking with me and I don't like it. I just can't be left alone with my thoughts. Especially during the holidays. But let's not get into that.
What I am most excited about is bringing that work ethic that I seem to have lost somewhere in the middle of the year back into 2019. It's going to be an epic year I just know it.
