.

28.10.19

I think I've found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

9.1.19

2019 Resolutions

I've realised that my resolutions over the years have been roughly the same since I started writing them down in 2014. I've decided that I should go into deeper detail so here goes:

1. Work more (effectively)

I always claim to be a workaholic but sometimes I find myself slacking off still, scrolling on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter or Amazon or whatever it is. Sometimes I just want to lie in my bed and do nothing. Sometimes I sit at my computer and no matter what I try I can't snap into work mode. The amount of time spent doing things like this should be reduced significantly.

Some strategies that I use to help me focus / snap into work mode are as follows:

Meditate for 5 minutes before I start. I like this video. Nothing special about it, it's just the first one I've found that I like and the length's just about right (5 minutes). Sometimes I just close my eyes and set a timer.
List down the things I have to do. Quite self explanatory. I either physically write it down with pen and paper or use my iPad and Apple Pencil which arguably I paid too much for. Recently I've been transitioning to Trello which seems like it could be a good fit into my workflow. Especially with managing projects where there are multiple parties working off-site for most of the time. Trello allows me to use the kanban methodology to keep track of tasks that have to be done, are being done and have been done. This works especially well in teams because everyone can be kept in the loop. A good read can be found here if you're interesting in learning more.
Turn off the lights. Probably not very good for my eyes but it helps me focus.
I've started using a Pomodoro timer to keep track of how much work I've done and it's nice to be able to visualise this information in terms of pie charts/bar graphs. If you don't know what the Pomodoro method of studying is, it's basically working for 25 minutes and taking a break for 5 minutes. Every fourth break is longer with 15 minutes instead of 5 minutes. This supposedly helps with your productivity. I like to stare out of my window during my breaks and smoke on my juul (opps).
I also pop caffeine pills like they're candy but let's not talk about that.

One of my key aims is to make sure that I work everyday for longer than I was asleep. This should help increase the amount of work I do over the course of weeks and months and years. Of course, I am referring to productive work. Hopefully some of these strategies work for you too.

2. Keep on learning

I've picked up chess, poker and golf in the past couple of months and I enjoy them all. Looking to get a guitar here so I can continue practicing - I'm trying to learn jazz but my music theory is just atrocious.

Still kinda want to learn how to code but I'm finding it less important as the days pass. What I've found more important is the ability to manage / lead. I can't do everything but if I can find people to help me do the things I can't then I don't have to be able to do everything. At this point in time schoolwork is merely an obstacle that I have to cross for me to learn the things I want to learn.

Also I should read more - think I've only read 6 books in 2018. Let's aim for a modest 100% increase this year.

3. Create better structures

Structures ensures that I know where everything I need is and should be. Structures are things like workflows and these still require improving. I'm happy to say that I've done a lot here in 2018 but there is still work to do. Might write a longer post where I dive deeper sometime in the near future.

I'll also probably start doing a year in review in December. Could not be more pumped for the start of a new year.

20.12.18

Before I Leave

I leave for a short holiday in Europe tomorrow morning and I wanted to pen some thoughts down before that.

Student hall during the winter break is a funny place. It's usually bustling with energy and laughter but it's emptied out to about 1/10 of the normal population right now. Walking up and down the halls for meals or to go out to run errands feels a little eerie - something's just missing. It doesn't help that everyone staying over winter break sort of misses home and they won't be spending Christmas at home which is a shame. Well I won't be spending Christmas at home either but y'know.

I like the solitude though. I've always liked solitude. Being by myself is when I can think best and when I am the most productive. In the 3+ months of being here I've somehow managed to surround myself with and cling onto people for some sort of comfort in hedonistic nights out. Very damaging to my productivity.

2018 has not been the best year unfortunately. Lost way more money than I thought I would and was not as productive as I should have been. I've also sort of been slipping into a place I don't want to go back to. A funny thing happened a week ago that reminded me of what I should be doing. I had a meeting with university security for assistance for an upcoming event and it went exceptionally well. The security team I'm working with were ready with a brief, understood what was done last year and what had to be improved/done this year. I left the meeting feeling energised by their preparedness and work ethic and it's been still with me as I write this today.

It's also funny how I feel like I'm more productive during the holidays than I am during the term. I'm excited for the start of my holiday tomorrow - I'm meeting an old friend and a good friend and I'm sure it'll be fun. But - there always is a but - I think that I might just prefer being locked in a dark room with my earphones in working on whatever it is that I have to work on next. When I'm not working my mind starts fucking with me and I don't like it. I just can't be left alone with my thoughts. Especially during the holidays. But let's not get into that.

What I am most excited about is bringing that work ethic that I seem to have lost somewhere in the middle of the year back into 2019. It's going to be an epic year I just know it.

23.11.18

Chess and Poker

I've been getting quite into chess lately. I've played sporadically throughout my life and consider myself a beginner but I would like to make some progress.

Chess and poker. Two very different but equally important games. One teaches you to think ahead, consider every possible scenario and find the best possible move. The other teaches you to read people.

17.11.18

Update

I wanted to write more this year but you know how life gets a little messy sometimes.

This year has been a whirlwind. Completed National Service and had a month off before I flew to Scotland for university. It's now just over 2 months into uni and it's going to be winter break in a couple of weeks. Time sure passes fast.

Some of the things I've started doing since NS / this year:

Going to the gym regularly - I try to go at least 4 times a week. Put on roughly 8 kilograms while serving. Haven't really weighed myself since I got to Scotland. Bulking is going well though I think.
Meditating / running - I meditate a few times a month. Trying to bring this up to once a week. I've only gone running once in Scotland because it's just so cold. Aiming for once a week though.
Journalling - I try to do this everyday but sometimes weeks go by. I still write down notable things when I have the time though. Trying to be more consistent with this.
Recording my finances - Quite consistent with this. Aiming to include cash flow / balance sheets and projections.
Started playing golf - Picket up a set of irons (Wilson Staff D100s) and a 3 wood (Titleist 910Fd) this week.

Haven't really been working on business ideas / plans since I've got to Scotland though. I guess I'm still getting used to Uni life. I'm lagging behind a bit with my work but I'm certain that I will be on top of my work by the end of winter break.

Haven't really read much this year unfortunately. My reading list is getting longer and I need to fix that soon.

Re-read:

Sapiens - Yuval Noah Harari
Zero to One - Peter Thiel

Halfway through:

The 48 Laws of Power - Robert Greene
Bronze Age Mindset - BAP
12 Rules for Life - Jordan B. Peterson

I was writing / collating interesting articles weekly on another blog I made called going gorilla(s). I like it better here though so I might start doing that here.

I'm being distracted by a girl again. I'm not sure why I do this to myself. Work and the gym (and also golf) is all I want to be focusing on at the moment but thoughts of her keep creeping into my mind every now and again and I can't focus on anything. I don't even know if she likes me - I keep getting mixed signals and I'm not sure if I should bother pursuing this. Life!

I once joked to my parents that if I ever drop out of vet school it should be a good thing, because it means that there's something I'm leaving vet school for. They did not find that amusing. I tell my friends that I might not want to practice when I graduate and they look at me like I'm crazy. Maybe I am crazy. I still don't have a clear picture of what I want to do. I might consider a career in research or even a management position. I'm sure there are vets/doctors work in Biotech/Pharma!!! While young I must be willing to take risks though. Maybe found a startup? Even though failure is pretty much certain?

I need to focus. And I need to be alone. I can't think otherwise unfortunately. My next update will probably be in late December. Before my annual resolutions. I'll be somewhere in Europe in December and hopefully that'll clear my head.

29.5.18

A Recurring Nightmare

I've had this recurring nightmare every so often throughout my life. It goes a little like this:

I am playing a game of Chess
I don't know who my opponent is
It's my turn
My king is missing
I don’t know what to do
I look up
There's no one there
My vision starts fading
The room starts caving in on me

1.1.18

2018 Resolutions

1. Cultivate mindfulness by meditating and running more.
2. Develop my concepts and ideas to a deeper level and write them down.
3. Take more notes.

19.11.17

12.4.16

thoughts

life:

is repetition is repetition is repetition is repetition is repetition is repetition is repetition

is repetition is repetition is repetition is repetition is repetition is repetition is repetition
is repetition is repetition is repetition is repetition is repetition is repetition is repetition

is repetition is repetition is repetition is repetition is repetition is repetition is repetition

or is it?

19.3.16

thoughts

i watched you fall asleep last night and you looked so at peace. our interrupted conversation was all that was on my mind.

1.3.16

quote

there's a whisper on the night-wind,

there's a star agleam to guide us,

and the wild is calling,

calling...

let us go.

-the call of the wild, robert w. service

11.2.16

thoughts

never let anybody know what you're really thinking (?)

4.1.16

thoughts

lately i haven't been able to see the world for all the beauty i know exists. i look around and everything seems to be devoid of colour.

i'm not sure why, but i feel like that i'm never going to be the same person i was. it seems as if the moment the clock struck 12 and it became 2016, the me from 2015 has been lost forever. lost - in the sense of a man falling into darkness and never touching ground; disassociated from his surroundings.

the only way i have ever known how to live life is as an observer. without passion. looking on at it as it passes by in front of me. never entering nor colliding with it. i have only ever been able to find it beautiful.

but right now i can't seem to find any beauty. what does this mean?

31.12.15

2016 resolutions

1. resist superficial temptations

2. do more good

2014 resolutions

1. do a little bit everyday

2. be more friendly

3. give less fucks

4. stick to my workout routine

5. spend less

6. be more appreciative

6.6.13

Hello

Hello, world!